December 31 2008, Well the end is here as well as a new beginning!!!!

The end of this year is finally here and the realization that tomorrow starts my 60 in 60 challenge has hit me like a ton of bricks.  I am actually looking forward to this challenge and looking forward even more to the actual results from my challenge to myself.  If I am successful losing the full 60 pounds my weight loss total since starting this journey will be 120 pounds lost in just 9 months.  That made me even more excited to realize that it is definitly possible for me to be down a total of 150 pounds on the one year anniversary of my surgery.  These are the goals I am keeping I am keeping my eyes on and these same goals are providing me motivation to push myself to achieve these goals.

As I mentioned this is December 31st and we really dont have big plans for today. We will be going to Chili’s for a nice late lunch as we were given a gift card for Christmas.  I am looking forward to a nice grilled chicken something because I have been craving grilled chicken for awhile.  Dont worry, I will eat right and no pigging out today!!   We will then hang out at Borders book store for awhile and browse the bookshelves to see if there is anything of interest.  We will probably spend the new years at church as they have a midnight service/get together so that sounds interesting.  Its better than getting drunk and driving thats for sure!!  We will also be stopping at Walmart but not to shop but to do some walking as its like 10 degrees here and to cold to walk outside.  I need to continue my walking even if its for just a few laps around the huge super walmart!!

I will update this blog later in the day with what I have eat but here is what I have eaten so far:

Breakfast…1 slice of toast with peanut butter and a glass of skim milk

December 30 No I didnt forget

Yes I know its late today but its been a little busy at work and have not really had a chance to get on here and make my daily update.

I woke up today just physically tired.  I am not sure why but I could barely pull myself out of bed and by time I completed my 1 and a half hour drive to work I could not keep my eyes open.  But the good news is I parked a good distance away from the door and forced myself to walk the extra distance than I normally do.  I did also complate almost all of the same amount of walking I did yesterday so that is great news as well.  I am learning to force myself to do the walking even when I physically dont feel like I can finish the next step let alone the next 100 steps.  I keep thinking about the Olympic ice skaters who get up at 4 am and have to push themselves to be the best and I keep telling myself to be the best I need to push myself beyond what I feel I can do.  So here I am pushing myself and entering territory I have not been in for so many years.

Well here is the goods on todays eating:

Breakfast larger than normal bowl of Chex cereal and skim milk.  Not a double serving but I will call the calories a double serving just to keep me honest.  320 calories

Lunch….Bagel with cream cheese. Not sure of the calories but I assume almost 400.  I brought a can of soup with me but I just dont feel much like eating so I ate the bagel I brought with to eat on the way home.

I did purchase a small bag of potatoe skins later today. Yes I know another bad choice but we dont have anything at home thats “good” to eat but this one was not bad. 250 calories and only 1 gram of saturated fat.

I just dont feel like eating much today and I know I will not be stopping on the way home as I have no money!! LOL.  Dinner will be updated after I get home but I dont anticipate it being a very big dinner.

Editing this post to add the dinner menu from last night. I came home to find Sharon had made a great dinner and it was really nice.  We had backed porkchops, corn and some mashed potatoes.  I really dont know the calorie content but I am prett confident I came in under my 2000 calories for the day.

Monday December 29th…yeah yeah yeah I know……

Yes I know I missed some time this past weekend in my postings.   the missed time was not mostly trying to hide anything but more of a medical issue that I actually can get a doctors note for!! 

I woke up on Christmas day and felt a strange swelling in my mouth above where I have a tooth that is partially missing.  The swelling was something that I have felt in the past and pretty much disregarded it even though I have known for the last few years I needed to get this tooth pulled.  I do have insurance but the expensive co-pays have kept me from getting this procedure done.  As I woke up on the 26th the swelling did not go away and it had actually gotten so much worse that I called the dentist to find out my options. The dentist prescribed antibiotics and even though they gave me heartburn I began taking them.  The swelling increased with each passing hour and by Sunday morning it was obvious just by looking at me that my face had swollen badly.  Finally the antibiotics kicked in and the swelling started to go down by time I went to bed but this incident really took me “off my game” for the weekend.  I did have some pain and the pain killers that were prescribed to me made me very sleepy so I really didnt have much time to log my eating habits this weekend.

Today I have done very well so far.   I started my new habits today by coming in to work early and shocking each and every one of my co workers.  I then walked inside the building non stop for 20 minutes  and taking about 1000 “steps” and returned to my desk.  At lunch I once again walked for another 20 minutes and took an estimated 1000 steps. While a thousand steps does not seem like much, put 400 pounds on your back and take the thousand steps and see how it feels.  I actually feel great after taking these walks and  I want to get up to the 10000 steps per day that is recommended by my doctors.  It is my hope that by the end of the 60 in 60 plan I will be very close to this goal as well.  I will update this blog later today with my eating and exercise but as of right now all is going well.  Remember I am trying to stay well below 2000 calories consumed per day which is what my doctor has recommended for safe weight loss combined with exercise should produce a good amount of safe weight loss per week.

Breakfast…..small bowl of Rice Chex cereal with skim milk….about 160 calories

Lunch………left over spaghetti from last nights dinner….About 350 calories  very small homemade pumkin muffing..Calories?????

Nibbled on some pretzels I brought.  I believe there were about 2 servings and they are now gone.  200 Calories.

Dinner (if you can call it that)  I had some leftover stuffing (about 300 calories if you use the guidelines on a stovetop stuffing box)   I told ya we didnt have a whole lot of “good” stuff to eat until we go shopping on Friday.  I am literally stuck with starches but I am trying to limit that.

And half of a cinnamon roll which has to be 500 calories ( I know a terrible desicion but I said I would be honest on here)  Still I am at my 2000 calories per day limit.

I walked again on my break for about 10 minutes. Not sure how many steps but can only guess as to about 250 or so.  I need a pedometer so I can tell just how far i walked.  Maybe Saturday I will  be making this purchase.

I have to work better options into my diet but I will have to wait until this Friday when we go shopping to purchase items that are not just starchy but higher in proteins as well vegetables too.  But for right now I will have to try and limit the starches and work with what we currently have at home.

I will update this blog later today. Thanks for keeping me honest and for your encouragement.

I did update my dinner choices above and just wanted to add that I did walk at work before I left and added at least 700 more steps to my total for the day.  That puts me at about 25% of my eventual goal for the daily amount of walking.

So there it is.  I have started my routine and will the continue this routine for at least the next 3 months.   I promise that this blog will get more reader friendly as I continue updating my daily progress.

December 26th

As promised I am starting this whole accountability “thing” today and one of the things I will be doing is creating sizzling posts for everyone to read by listing my eating habits on a daily basis.  So as promised I am proceeding with listing what I have eaten each day and will update my posts throughout the day.  I know this will be boring and I apologize in advance but I think its something I need to do.  I will still make other posts but a daily listing like this one is a much needed evil in my life!  LOL

Breakfast….. small bowl of Rice Chex and some skim milk.  About 150 calories

Lunch……..Not really all that hungry but wanted something so I had a slice of bread with some peanut butter (about 300 calories) and a glass of milk (90 calories).

Now I wait to hear from the dentist as half my face is swollen because of a infected tooth and after he calls I will find someplace to walk today.  I need to get me some exercise.

I will update more later on today

Christmas is done…..now the work begins

Since my early childhood I anticipated the arrival of Christmas so much so that I could hardly sleep the weeks before the 25th of December.  Like most children I could not wait to see what Santa left me under the tree but I was always left with a sense of sadness after the packages were opened and the visitors had gone home for the evening.  I always felt a hollow and empty “let down” feeling and wanted to continue the holiday just a few more days but somehow it never happened.  This emptyness only increased in later years after the passing of my sister, grandma and father within a few short years of each other and the fact that our children had grown up and in my daughters case, left the nest causing the Christmas holiday to lose alot of its magic for me.  This year was a little different in that the daughter my wife gave up for adoption 18+ years ago has come to spend the holiday with us.  This is only the 2nd time we have ever met face to face but it has proved to be a enjoyable experience and her appearance has filled some of the emptyness I was certainly going to feel.  Sha has come and stayed for the week leading up to Christmas and has brought some fun and energy back into our lives at this most joyous time of the year.  I have certainly enjoyed her company and know I will be saddened when she leaves but knowing that she is in our lives and will continue to have a presence makes me feel somewhat better.

Christmas has also been somewhat bittersweet for me in that I have 2 grandchildren as well as  their parents I would love to spend the holidays with but because of circumstances we are not able to see them face to face.  I can only imagine what kind of celebration we would have if we could all get together for Christmas and continue many of the traditions we started when the kids were young and introduced them to a new generation.  The hollowness I am feeling I am sure would be somewhat filled by the love and laughter of those little guys and would really make the season sparkle once again given the opportunity.  I know sometime in the future this celebration will be a possibility but until then I can only imagine their giggles when they spy the gifts left under the tree by the old man dressed in red early on that December 25th.

If it sounds like I am a little down it would be because I am.  Christmas always does this to me and I find myself really missing the ones I have lost or not able to spend time with on a regular basis.  I see the pain in others eyes and I know how good I really do have it but I cant help but to feel the hurt as well.   My dad always used to say that time heals all wounds but I almost feel like there are wounds deep within me that will not heal.  Why am I saying all this you ask?  Well for one it helps me to get through this time of year but another reason is normally I would eat my sorrows away.  I would run to food as a way to comfort me and I am now faced with the cold hard reality that starting tomorrow I will be accountable to each and every person who reads this blog as well as to others that have been praying for and encouraging me these last 6 months.  No longer can I hide in the dark while consuming hundreds of empty calories but now I must stay in the light for all to see my successes and failures.  This is a task that frankly scares me but I know I need to do for my own personal health as well as for the health and well being of my loved ones.

As I sit at the dining room table watching the clock wind down on another Christmas I find myself being excited for tomorrow and scared all at once.  I will have successes and I will have failures.  I will try to limit the failures but I want to make everyone proud of me.  My promise is to eat right and whenever possible choose the best possible options in terms of what I eat even if I have to eat something I have never tried before.  I promise to break the 10000 step per day mark by the end of the 60 days.  I promise to lose weight and I promise not to bore you with any more rambling posts like this one.  I promise to make you proud of me and to win your respect.  I just ask for your encouragement.  I think there are going to be days that I will be needing it.

While tomorrow does not officially start the 60 in 60, it does start the accountability portion of my plan.  This should get real interesting!!

Merry Christmas everyone and thank you for listening to me tonight!

What the heck was I thinking??

60 in 60? What was I thinking?????????

 
Ok, no I am not backing out of my grand plan for 60 pounds lost in 60 days. It sounded great at the time and it still sounds great but when I actually thought of the work that will go into meeting this goal I think I almost had a panic attack and nearly ran for a box of Little Debbies to calm my nerves!! (Don’t worry…I havn’t bought a box of those in a long time…almost did but didn’t!)

 
Thinking back I realized how many pounds a week I would have to lose to make this goal. 7.5 pounds per week needs to be lost and 210,000 calories need to be burned to lose that amount of weight. Think about that…..210,000 calories????? Geez, that’s a lot of calories. Well to be honest at least I know what I am up against. This is probably one of the hardest things I have challenged myself to do. I have never pushed myself to accomplish anything but with this goal I have laid it out in front of everyone for all to see my failures or my victories!! I cannot back down now and I am glad I have this blog and the people who read it to keep me honest. No backing down now. Scared of failure, yes. Backing down from a challenge…Nope!

 
I told my wife about my grand plans and as I thought she would she did roll her eyes as she has heard all of my previous schemes and ideas and knows me well enough that if the scheme involves something where I have to push myself it probably wont get done. I talk a good game but actions are somewhat lacking. I explained to her that I am starting this whole deal on January 1st and she looked me right in the eye in typical wife fashion and said “Why wait? Start now!”   I stammered and mumbled something about Christmas and cookies and holidays and once again I received the look of skepticism and I realized right there, in the Wal Mart parking lot, that my beautiful wife was right. Why was I going to wait 2 more weeks when I could get a jump start on this challenge.

 
Starting the day after Christmas, December 26th 2008 I will start recording the items and as close to their calorie content as I can right here on this blog. I will do this on a daily basis and update the blog throughout the day as I add to the list of items I have consumed. While I know this will make for some very boring reading for anyone who is brave enough to read my ramblings, it will serve as a way to keep me honest with my eating and allow me to see the kinds of crap I have actually eaten and find ways to make better and more healthy food choices. Now anyone who knows me knows that my diet has consisted of starches, sweets and fast food. Making good food choices has never been one of my strong points and is probably the reason why I am now writing in a blog about being a 500 pound man! I know I need to change and for this reason I am laying out my eating habits for all to see so I can be shamed into making better choices. Yes it has come to this!!

 
I will also be weighing in on a weekly basis starting on January 3rd and will take a picture of the scale reading in another attempt to keep myself honest. While not as dramatic as the weight lose “reveals” on the TV show The Biggest Loser, I am anticipating these losses to be still very exciting or depressing for me depending on the outcome.
The official 60 in 60 will begin on January 1st but the diet jump start will happen for me on December 26th. Hopefully next year I will look back at this challenge as the Christmas present I gave myself with a huge weight loss as the gift.

I hope everyone who reads this has a very Merry Christmas and thank you all for following my journey, no matter how boring my ramblings have been. See you on the 26th!!

A new goal….60 in 60

t seems that the last 2 months have been really tough for me in terms of weight loss. To be honest I am so bored coming on this blog and saying that I am struggling with my weight loss or the weight loss is slow in coming blah blah blah. I have gotten to the point where I feel like I have lost my focus and have done nothing to keep this weight loss journey going at a steady pace and that drastic changes need to take place. Although I have not gained weight back I know I have not lost weight either.

I have been reading a blog from a brother of a co-worker and he has inspired me as he has tried to lose 100 pounds in one hundred days (http://100days100pounds.blogspot.com/). He has had pretty good success at losing the weight even without lap band surgery and I started to think about how I was feeling currently. I am easily bored. Seriously. I tend to get bored easily and, although not bored with the weight loss I have been losing focus which leads me eventually to boredom. I don’t want to gain any weight back and I am tired of telling people I have not lost any weight since November so I have needed something to hold my interest and constantly challenge me. I have looked into support groups and other methods of motivation but the one that really gets me excited is the 60 in 60. Simply put I pledge to lose 60 pounds in 60 days.

One of my goals when I started this journey was to stand at my doctor’s office one year later and actually say I was 100 pounds lighter. It was February of 2008 when I went to my 1st doctors appointment and stood with my wife outside the office and said to her ” I just cannot imagine standing here in one year being a hundred pounds lighter” and that simple statement is now my rallying cry. Starting January 1st my goal will be to lose 60 pounds by March 1st making my dream become a reality. (I actually will be over 100 pounds lost when I drop the 60 but my dream will still be realized!) This will be no easy task but to be honest nothing in life worth having is ever easy. I will have to push myself more than I ever have before and eat differently than I ever have before. Just as I was so ready for the lap band surgery to change my life I am so ready for this challenge to continue changing my life. I will pattern my 60 days pretty close to the co-workers brother with a few exceptions. He worked out like a mad man at a health club because he could afford it. I just don’t have the money to be able to go to a club everyday so I will have to rely on walking inside my work building and outside as the weather permits. Otherwise I am pretty confident I will be successful in this goal and it will provide the motivation I need mentally to step up my weight loss pace and get this weight off of me.

I intend to update this blog on a daily basis using the blog as a way to “keep me honest” and have some accountability. I know there are people who read this blog who will help to keep me honest and know when I am BS’ing and when I am not. I will daily post what I have eaten and the amount of exercise I have completed. Hopefully I will have a pedometer by the start of the new year which will help me keep a accurate record of the walking I have done on a daily basis. Now that my wife has a digital camera I will actually post pictures on a weekly basis of the scale readings again as a way to keep me honest. As I sit here and write I am finding myself excited about this challenge and even more excited for the fact that at the end of the 60 days I will be well over 100 pounds lost and will have met my 1st major goal of 100 pounds lost in my 1st year since I started this journey. Just wait to you see my next motivational tool after March 1st!! That one scares me! LOL

Biggest loser?

As I sat in my chair last night I was flipping channels and came across the TV show “The Biggest Loser”.  If you are not familiar with this show, this is a show where they bring together a number of greatly overweight people and work them out in controlled gym settings and track their weight loss.  Each week one contestant is eliminated if they lose the least amount of weight of all the contestants in the prevous weeks time.

As I sat and watched this show I reflected back to 2 years ago when I sat and watched the Biggest Loser marathon that was run on a cold and dreary Sunday in the middle of winter.  I watched these rather large people lose incredible amounts of weight while I literally cried my eyes out with a bowl of ice cream in my hand.  I felt so hopeless at the time and the tears were not tears of joy for the competitors but tears of sadness for the hopelessness I was feeling.  At that time I could not get my insurance company to pay for the weight loss surgery I was pursuing and I felt that i was doomed to a life of being fat and overweight with no hope of my life changing.  I knew at the time that I was losing my wife, my family and even my own life but I just could never seem to get it in my head how to lose the weight on my own.  I saw my life slowly slipping away and as I watched the “losers” on tv I found myself more and more jeolous with each pound they dropped. At the time my cynical mind reasoned that anyone can lose that much weight if they had personal trainers and state of the art gym equipment at their beck and call 24 hours a day.  As I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth I just assumed weight loss was never going to happen for me.

Watching this show 2 years later and after having the weight loss surgery I was suprised at my reaction last night.  I wasnt eating ice cream this time but a baked chicken breast with some potatoes on the side.  I didnt have a feeling of helplessness but a feeling that I had a large boot kicking my backside and it was “encouraging” me to get going and stop messing around.  I realized that the weight loss the contestants were experiencing was also well within my grasp and that I can actually have a life and live it to the fullest.  I feel that watching the show has refocused me once again as I have gotten complacent and happy with a small weight loss every few weeks.  I am now tired of the nearly 60 pounds I have lost and want to tell people that I have lost 70, 80, 90 and even hundred pounds but this will not come without hard work.  I am no different than those “losers” on the TV show and this can actually happen for me.  My personality is such that I need frequent butt kickings so its good that shows like this are on the air to at least show me what I am missing and how my life can be different.  Needless to say “The Biggest Loser” will be one of my cant miss shows each week from now on.  The energy boost it gives me really helps to refocus my priorities and helps to keep me on the path to my weight loss journey.