Let the pigout fest begin……….or at least control it!

I have started and stopped this entry to my blog so many times in the last week or so because I just could not put my feelings about the coming holiday exactly as I wanted them to be.  I have been looking forward to and dreading the Thanksgiving holiday for a while now.  I remember one of the 1st thoughts I had when I even considered the lap band weight loss surgery was whatever would I do on Thanksgiving.  Would I eat like a sow and toss it all back up or would I spend the day depressed as I watched my family shovel food into their faces while I sat with my small piece of turkey and a carrot for a side item.  Funny thing is I am no longer worried about those issues.

Thanksgiving for me has not always been about the meal but what led up to it.  Early morning Thanksgiving day parade watching that usually included some sort of coffee cake or pastry because a “full breakfast” would ruin one’s appetite for dinner.  After the parade, football usually started and who can watch football without a bowl of chips or cheese and crackers all washed down by a Pepsi or 7-up while the game is played.  Then came the dinner and the desserts and then the nibbling followed by a much needed nap!  Thanksgiving was always about the food and that will probably never change but this year it will be different for me.

Since there will only be a few of us gathered for this years dinner and there is no real need to go overboard with the pre meal munching.  I intend to cut down drastically or just not have any of the crackers and cheese and various other goodies that have been served the previous holidays.  Since I have never been one to really eat alot at the dinner, eating right should not really be a issue as turkey and other items are not bad for a person if eaten in the right amounts.  I plan on watching my portions and will not allow myself to go overboard on the items that can be bad such as potatoes, bread and other starchy or high fat dishes.  Dessert will be another story but since there will only be 2 pies served it should not be hard to resist the temptation to gorge myself on these items as well.

For the 1st time in years I am confident that eating on Thanksgiving will not destroy my diet and I can actually enjoy the day for what it is,  giving thanks to God for what he has blessed us with, and not for stuffing myself full and sleeping the rest of the day away. 

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving and a good start to the holiday season.  Remember to eat right, get some exercise and enjoy your family and friends.  Cherish the moment!!

WoooooHooooooooo

As planned I went and weighed in at the doctors office this morning.  I usually go to my regular doctors office on Saturday mornings as his portion of the clinic is closed but they let me sneak in and weigh myself.  This morning I walk in to find about 5 women sitting in his waiting room and find a OB doctor has taken over the office for the day.  Talk about awkward, I had to run the gauntlet of pregnant women and explain to the nurse who I was and what I was doing.  I always get funny looks from the nurses who have never seen me before and today was no exception.

Well, As promised here are the results.  I last weighed in 2 weeks ago and found that I had gained 5 pounds while my wife was out of town.  I was so mad at myself and promised I would take the weight off that I had gained.  For the last 2 weeks I have watched what I ate and walked more and more at work during lunches and breaks.  The result was that I have lost the weight I gained AND taken 2 more pounds off.  Yes a 7 pound weight loss!!!!!!  I expected 2-4 pounds to be lost but never guessed it would be 7 pounds.  This gives me hope that if I step up the exercise some more and watch what I am eating even closer I can see another 7 pound weight loss when I weigh in 2 more weeks.  The only issue is Thanksgiving is in less that 2 weeks and I will just have to contain myself and prepare in advance.  Either way my goal is another 7 pound loss in 2 weeks which will put me at 60 pounds lost total.

I am still upset with myself in that I should have been at a 60 pound loss long ago and I was just stupid and satisfied with 1-2 pounds loss each weigh in period.  With the size I am I should have been dropping 5 pounds a week for a good long time and I messed that up.  My new renewed goal is a 3-5 pound loss per week with a goal of 80 total pounds lost by New Years Day.  This is a goal that is very realistic and attainable.

Well off now to take care of a sick wife and to try and winterize the apartment some.  Its a day filled with “honey-do’s” thats for sure.  I just have to remember the more I move and keep busy I am burning calories and that means weight loss as long as I dont stuff my my face with crappy food.

Walking.. yes indeed I’m talking…….

After writing last weeks post I actually received some words of encouragement from someone who reads this blog who is also fighting their weight but she is doing it the normal way, no lap band surgery.  She is on insulin and her situation with the insulin makes me think back to my dad and the fact that he was on insulin for many years of his life.  Just thinking about how my dad had to give himself a shot or 2 everyday makes me really want to lose this weight and I know that is a big motivation for the reader Leeann.  I am not sure there is a better motivational tool than seeing someone you care about having to give themselves a shot 2 times a day and knowing that unless huge changes are made….that will be apart of your life as well.  After just going through halloween we really didnt need all that candy in the house since our kids are older and we didnt get any trick or treaters.  The smart thing would have been to take the candy to work but instead I helped consume some of it which helped with my weight gain.  I need to remember my dad and also remember others like Leeann who are fighting the weight issue AND having the diabetes and insulin factor thrown into the mix.  I need to thank God that I am not having to worry about 2 a day shots right now but also know that unless I continue to lose weight, insulin will be a unwelcome visitor in my life.  For the record Leeann has lost 13 pounds and she should be proud of herself!!  Keep it up !!!  I will be cheering you on!!

My title of this post is from an old Jerry lee Lewis song that for some reason I always seem to remember when I am out walking.  And these past 2 weeks I have made sure to take time during my lunch to walk the massive halls of the building I work in as well as taking the time after work to do the same thing.  Its now almost too cold to walk outside so I needed someplace to walk and realized there is no better walking track than the long halls here at work.   I have been able to find offices in this building I never knew existed and realized that my company has a television studio deep in the bowels of the basement.  Why they have this studio I have no clue but its there!  Combining this walking with the trek I now have to get to and from my car in the parking garage I am putting alot of miles under my feet.  I will start ramping up the amount of time I am walking because I really want to try and reach one of my goals of walking a 3 or 5K in the summer of 09.  I know a 3 or 5K does not sound like a huge goal but for me it is since I used to get terrified if I had to walk to the mailbox.  I think back on how far I have come I really get excited and think forward and know that it will only continue to get better and better!

Weighing in this Saturday so I will update this blog with my success or failure…I will hide nothing!! LOL  Lets hope for success or at least the loss of the weight i put back on recently.

Dont let anyone ever tell you this is the easy way!!

Wow I cannot believe its been more than I month since I last posted.  I have been bogged down with school work that is now completed for the semester as well as regular work.  I have not had a chance to come on here and post anything as I have been so busy.  My wife was also out of town for 4 weeks since my last post which has given me time to cross some items off the “honey-do” list while she has been visiting my daughter and her family in Maryland.  Yes, I also worked for the losing team this fall in trying to get a president elected but the experience I gained was definitly worth it.  Its been a fun and interesting fall and I am looking forward to the spring time and the renewal of everything…………I hate winter!!  Can you tell???

I titled this post “Dont let anyone ever tell you this is the easy way” because I had heard from many people that they felt that the lap band surgery was the easy way out in terms of weight loss when compared to normal hard work weight loss.  I even felt some guilt and said a few times to my wife that I really wish I could have lost weight the normal way instead of taking this route but I now have come to the realization that I was a freaking idiot for thinking this way. 

Going into this surgery I just assumed that weight would fall off with a minimum amount of effort on my part but I could not have been farther from the truth.  I jumped on the scale 2 weeks ago for the 1st time in a month and….I am not proud of this fact… but I found I had gained back 4 pounds.  I seriously got off the scale and in shocked disbelief I wrote the new weight down in my book where I record my weights.  Now I knew I had not been eating well and knew I had not been exercising well either but in the past I still lost some weight.  This time the weigh in produced a different outcome and it quite honestly sent me into shock and a bit of a depression. It was here that reality smacked me square in the face and I finally realized that this weight loss journey would not be a breeze but a uphill walk into hurricane force winds.

I feel as if I have let everyone down who has believed in me through this weight loss surgery. I have let myself down most of all and allowed myself to get back into some bad habits that if left unchecked can and will put me right back into the same boat I was when I started this whole thing.  I know too that this is the reason why I hadnt blogged all this time because I just didnt want to admit to myself let alone anyone else who might read this that I messed up and took a huge step backwards.  But in the interest of being honest and real with myself and everyone else watching my progress I had to put in this blog the real story.

well there it is…. I was honest…..and I do feel terrible.  No excuses (although I have thought of thousands!) and no blame. Its my fault plain and simple.  So where do I go from here???

I am going back to the basics.  No drinking liquids with meals…watching my calories and my intake.  I have started walking  again and find I have really missed walking as much as I did previously.  I am determined to lose the weight I gained back and more determined to keep losing.  I will not be one of those who gains back all the weight I lost. I have worked too hard for this and will not lose this battle to food.  It helps me even more knowing that my wife has lost nearly 20 pounds since she left on her 4 week trip and we are both trying to keep the mementum going.

I am not going to weigh in this weekend as I want to give myself a really good jump start on this weight loss.  Next weekend will be the 1st time I weigh in since I found I gained the extra weight back and will be sure to report back on how much I have lost!!  I will make everyone proud of me again and make myself proud of me too!!