5 pounds is 5 pounds…..

As promised I actually got out of bed early today and made sure to hurry over and weigh in to see how much success I had this week in my weight loss journey.  As you can tell by the title of this post I lost 5 pounds this week but I cant help but to be a little dissapointed.  I really expected a larger weight loss but I really will not complain because 5 pounds is a large amount when I think about it.  I just have to keep in perspective what a 5 pound bag of potatoes feels like when you see it at the grocery store.  Its really nothing to sneeze at as it is a good weight loss amount for the week.  With this weight loss I have now “officially” lost 41 pounds in 7 weeks which is a average of 5.85 pounds per week.  I am sure even Jenny Craig would be overjoyed at that weight loss amount and I guess so should I.  For the record I am now no longer the 500+ pound guy but he 486.2 pound guy.  (pathetic yes, and I am still ashamed of myself but I am getting there)

My goal for the next 2 weeks is to average a higher weight loss than my weekly average has been.  I would like to see me lose 15 pounds in the next 2 weeks which would make me just short of a 60 pound total loss.    I have a pair of pants that I bought but never wore and they are currently 2 sizes below what I started this weight loss journey in.  I tried them on today and was pleased to see that I could actually get them up over my ample rear end but they would not make the trip over my still somewhat mountainous belly!  3 weeks ago these same pants would not even go over my rear end so I am counting my small victories.

This coming week will be a challenging one as I try to meet my goal and also put my new eating practices into action.  I am trying to take into consideration the guildelines I wrote about yesterday that I found on the lap band web site and also step up the exercise that I do each day.  There have been some days that I have done nothing in terms of exercise and I need to make sure I do something each and every day.  So on that note, I will be logging off and running several errands while my wife is away for most of the day.  Included in these errands will be a return to the place where I started walking on a regular basis right after my surgery.  It will be fun to go back there and see how much farther I can walk now as compared to 5 weeks ago when I last was there.   I will be sure to report on my progress the next time I log in.  Have a great weekend!!!

Time to take a closer look

Once again I have arrived at another Friday and the temptations of the weekend seem to diminish with each passing week.  TV watching and refrigerator raiding have now been replaced by honey do lists and enjoying the summer weather provided to us in the midwest.  But as I sit here and wonder why the pounds are not dropping off of me as quickly as I thought they would I did some internet searching for answers.  I am losing weight but I really thought I would be down alot more total pounds 7 weeks after surgery.  Although the doctors tell me a 1-2 pound weight loss is normal I expect more of myself. 

I stumbled on the makers of the lap band’s website which is www.lapband.com.  This was the 1st time I have really taken a close look at eating plans designed for the 1st year after surgery and my eyes were somewhat opened.  I have found myself eating more than I should have and being very surprised that I could eat in a larger quantity while assuming the band would tell me when to stop eating.  There have been times when I ate something and I could tell after a few bites that the food I was eating was being restricted by the band.  But other times I felt that what I was eating went down so well that I continued to eat with no regard to the quantity.  This is where old habits die hard and a lesson I have to learn in that I cant just eat until I am ready to toss it all back up again.  (sorry….I know its unpleasant but it had to be said!!)  In reading information on this website I know realize that I have to watch the quantity of what I am eating regardless of what I am actually feeling.  1-2 ounces of meat or 2 cups of skimmed milk per day is some of the guidelines that are recommended on the Lap Band site.  Although I have watched closely what I have been eating and have not eaten fried foods and have consumed only skim milk and water to keep myself hydrated, I have not watched the portions close enough.  What should be common knowledge sometimes takes a brick to hit me in the head for it to sink in.  Portion control is just as important as what I am actually eating.  Combine the portion control of good quality food with walking will help me drop the weight at a much higher rate that the what I am currently experiencing.

Although I continue to walk and get exercise I also need to, pardon the pun, step up the amount of walking I do as well.  I am continually amazed at how walking is no longer a terrorizing things for me but find it now a challenge.  I have never parked so far away from the entrance of my work as I do now and I am eying parking spots ever farther out and I am just working up the courage to try the longer walk.  I can now walk through a Wal Mart supercenter without open mouth breathing and watering the floors with my sweat!!  Its a liberating feeling but I am still reminded of how pathetic I became with my weight when a short walk to the mailbox would create panic within me.

I have now printed out the 1st year after surgery information from the lap band website and need to post it in various places where I will see it each day.  My desk at work and the refrigerator at home are likely spots for this 3 page directive.  I considered posting this at some spot in the bathroom within clear site of the toilet but I really dont think my wife would appreciate me altering her decor in both of our washrooms.  These guidelines are now giving me a little more hope that weight loss, although not easy, will happen in a larger quantity in the coming weeks.   I weigh in tomorrow and will keep you posted as to how much I have lost in the past week!

Not much here….You?

Not much going on in the world of my weight loss.  We were not able to weigh in this past weekend and that might have been a good thing as I am not sure I lost very much weight.  This week should be different as I have increased my exercise due to the fact that I am still not working much at work.  I have decided that if I have to sit here all day and literally do nothing I might as well get up and walk every hour or so and make something good out of a very boring situation.  I get up and walk the long halls of my office building and I have also started to throw some stair walking into the mix.  Up a few flights and down a few flights combined with a brisk walk each hour hopefully will contribute to a nice weight loss this week.

I have also not been wanting to eat much lately.  For the last 2 days I have not taken a lunch to work and had only a bottle of Ensure for breakfast and have found myself surprisingly not very hungry.  (although there was one trip to the vending machine where I bought a small bag of BAKED LAYS chips that have almost no fat in them)    I can’t explain what I have been feeling other than a general lack of interest in eating anything lately.  I mentioned to someone the other day that its too bad we have to eat because its almost a waste of time!!  And I guess I just dont find the pleasure in consuming massive quantities of greasy calories like I did before my surgery.  I used to wake up and right away  start planning my day in terms of where I would stop for breakfast and what I would bring for lunch to eat that day.  I would almost panic if I did not stop on the way home at the local Wendy’s or McD’s and get something to tide me over for the 65 mile ride home.  Once I got home I had to have some sort of dinner because I would then have to explain that I was not hungry because I had eaten during my drive and Sharon would not have been happy with me.  I found myself in a cycle that I could not break and only now I am feeling like the cycle is, if not broken, severly injured.  It also helps that now my son is riding to and from work with me and any cheating I do will be exposed!.  Its always a good idea to have someone to be accountable to and although I am sure he does not see it that way, he holds me accountable just being there.

Now my battle is more about being active and staying that way.  I feel more energy than I have felt in years but I need to keep my momentum and work towards a day where I can walk a few miles without being terrified. Working towards a day that panic does not set in because I was not able to find a close parking space at the Wal Mart supercenter and now have to walk a extra 50 feet before even getting into the huge store.  My actual goal is to walk in the 65 mile breast cancer walk that is held in the Chicago area every year and God willing this will happen. (it would literally be a miracle from God if I am able to complete or even do 1-2 stages of the walk!)  This walk would be in honor of my wife who has fought and won her battle with this cancer and also show myself that I also fought and won my own battle with a food addiction that has virtually ruined my life.  65 miles is a long way…..but I cannot think of a better way to show myself and my family that I have completed the journey to lose weight and signal the start of the rest of my life.

It’s the weekend but I still cant eat!!

Well, its Friday.  Friday’s, for the last 20 years have  meant the start of the weekend and the eating floodgates would open.  2 days of sitting around not doing anything other than wondering where my next snack would come from and alot of TV watching.  I gave up caring 20 years ago that I would do almost nothing for 2 days while the rest of the world went about their normal weekend  business enjoying friends and various get togethers.  I think I was embarrassed by my size and eventually ended up hiding myself away and curled up with not a good book but my girlfriend, Little Debbie.  I ignored friends and families pleas to do something about my weight because it was affecting the whole family and made doing family outings virtually impossible. 

Today I find that instead of looking forward to eating all weekend I am now looking forward to doing some walking and going to a few street fairs that I always wanted to attend but my weight never allowed me to.  With the filling of my lap band this week, the food consumption has been cut way down and the intersting thing is I do not feel hungry or have food cravings.  I actually am craving exercise and weight loss and I am trying to use that as my motivation.  A small town near where we live is having their annual celebration that requires a good deal of walking and I am also making plans to hang out by the lake near us.  I no longer want to just sit at home and watch TV.  I am 44 years old and have squandered away too many of my years to let the rest of them go by without living a life worth living. 

I have to weigh in this weekend but I am not confident of any weight loss.  I slacked off early in the week and probably ate a little more than I should have and didnt do much walking.  We had Sharon’s sister staying with us for a few days and she bought pizza last night but I managed to limit myself to 2 very small pieces which took me almost a hour to finish!!   I mentally fight myself all the time in that I know I need to exercise but circumstances dont allow it.  Now with the band adjustment and the limitations on my eating I know that some simple walking would aid in my weight loss and help me achive the loss I want in a shorter period of time.  So I have started today and will leave work a little early and enjoy the great outdoors as I find a place to do some walking.  Its about 90 degrees out today with 100% humidity so I should be able to have some pounds literally fall off of me as I walk the paved trails!! 

I will update this blog on Monday with the weight loss amount (or gain…..I hope not!!) as well as a update on the fairs Sharon and I will be going to!!  have a great weekend and stay out of the blazing heat!!

Help me I am choking!!

I know, I know… I go for weeks without a posting here and now I post 2 days in a row.  I am so bored at work and having issues eating gives me time to make another post.

 I wrote previously  that I had my lap band filled for the 1st time a few days ago.  This “filling” closes the lap band and causes me to not eat as much food as I was able to just a few hours before.  Adjusting to this filling has taken some time and I am still struggling with it. I know to take small bites and chew my food thouroughly but with the band being filled the food now gets stuck and will slowly filter through the banded area.  This causes me to feel like the food is almost at the point where its coming back up on me and causes me sometimes extreme discomfort.  I assumed this feeling would happen if I overate but I have found that this is happening even after a few small bites of food.   For dinner last night I had a small hamburger with no bun but it took me over a half hour to eat it!  I remember sitting in on a support group session for lap band patients before my surgery and I flashed back to a woman who said she has to reheat her food 2-3 times per meal because it takes her so long to eat that everything cools off.  I thought at that time that I would not have to worry about something like that but not I find myself in the same situation. 

The situation is made worse in that I am not able to drink anything during or up to a half hour after my meal.  If I was to drink anything it would flush the food through the banded area which would really defeat the purpose of what the band is designed to do, which is cause fullness and make me stop eating.  On a few occasions I have forgotten this drinking rule and taken drinks of water which caused a great deal of pain as it appears that the water only created a greater log jam in my throat and with no where for the food to go it created pressure and caused pain.    The last time this happened I had no other choice but to run to the washroom and stick my head in the toilet to relieve the pressure of the food blockage. I am learning how to eat with the new restrictions brought on by the lap band fill but this is not a very fun way to lose weight and it is not the easy way out as others had suggested.

A first time for everything!!

After my last post was wiped out with the click of one key stroke I am now forcing myself to save my work after each paragraph is written.  I can’t tell you how ticked off I was after writing a lenghthy post and with a accidental flick of my pinky finger, I hit the escape key and all was gone.  Oh well, I am over that and onto this weeks updates.

Sharon and I weighed in this past weekend and we both have lost 5 pounds.  I am down nearly 40 pounds since the surgery and I believe Sharon is down 10 pounds.  We had slacked off lately due to my return to work and other issues and losing the 5 pounds was a real confidence boost for us both.    We are both now on our 6th week of no fast food and no greasy food and I think we are both developing a intolerance for Subway!  It may be good enough for Jerrod but its getting way too old for me.  I honestly thought I would go through grease withdrawal and crave Burger King french fries or those cheap chicken sandwiches that the golden arches serve up but to my surprise I have not had these cravings.  I think the cravings are dampened by the fact I know that once I breakdown and go get some of this junk food…the reasoning will start in my head and I will allow myself to do it over and over again  After all I am trying to break bad habits and not find new ways to fall back into old ones so I have to literally fight these urges.  ok… stopping for a minute to save my work before my pinky flies over the escape key again.

I do have to mention that on Sunday Sharon and i went to my moms house to do some lawn mowing as my mom is up in years and really can’t cut her own grass anymore…although the stubborn German still thinks she can.  Before surgery I would mow a few short rows in her fenced in back yard and have to take a break to suck some wind as I was out of breath.  I know the sight of a 500 pound man mowing grass for 3 minutes and sucking wind for 10 minutes is pathetic and I am not proud of it! This Sunday i was able to mow the whole back yard taking only 1 quick break and Sharon and I split the mowing duties of the front yard.  As mundane and pathetic as this sounds, its a huge milestone in my life at this point.  I never thought taking off 40 pounds would make much of a difference when you weigh a quarter of a ton but I was amazed at how I was no longer winded and free from the various body pains that usually came with the little bit of yard work I was barely able to do previously.  Again, this was a huge confidence boost and something i am looking forward to doing again this coming weekend.  My goal is to be able to mow her whole yard (2+ acres total) by the end of the mowing season this year.

I titled this post “A first time for everything” because yesterday I received the 1st fill of my lap band.  As previously mentioned I had lap band weight loss surgery where they attach a band around the upper part of the stomach and the band can be filled with saline to restrict food consumption.  (please take a look at this link to see how the band works  http://www.obesitylapbandsurgery.com/tecmain.html)  When getting the band filled a needle and syringe is used to access the port that was placed under the skin during surgery.  The needle then goes into the port and saline is injected which allows the band around the stomach to be inflated  which in turn restricts the food consumption.  A person who has this band can eat a normal menu but if too much is eaten it will usually result in a not so pleasant run to the nearest bathroom or wastebasket to purge what was consumed.   

I was concerned that after the surgery I could feel the restriction but as time went by I did not feel as much or any restriction and was worried something went wrong.  I asked the doctor about this and I was informed that the swelling of the stomach had gone down since the surgery and since the lap band was not inflated it caused me to feel unrestricted.  I was relieved to find out that this is a common occurance and not something that would be a issue.  The doctor proceeded to fill the band but did not fill it all the way as a happy medium has to be met that will allow me to still eat but also attain my weight loss goals.  I will go back a number of times for adjustments until we get it just right!

It seems each time I have gone to a doctor or hospital  during this weight loss ordeal I have been handed something to eat or drink for medical tests.  I have drank so many different liquids for scans and xrays that its a wonder I do no glow at night!!  After the doctor completed the fill of my lap band she handed me a cup filled with a liquid.  I looked at her and I looked at the cup and asked her how much of the liquid I had to drink.  Naturally I also asked her what was in the liquid and she looked at me like I had I was a fool.  She proceeded to inform me I could drink as much as I wanted and that the cup contained normal tap water!  I felt like a idiot because I just assumed that the cup was filled with something that needed to be used in a test to insure the band was inflated properly.  I was partially right in that the water was a test but just to make sure that I could swallow with no issues and also to see if there was some restriction…and there was.  I left the office feeling like a fool but I think the doctor understood!

On a side note and not even related to the weight loss, This week my son Dan has started working as a temp to perm customer service associate where I work. He is currently in training and seems to be interested in the job and excited he will actually make enough money that will allow him to buy a car.  I think he is sick of using the family mini van to take his girlfriend out on dates.  Something about minivans cramping his style!!   We now ride to and from work each day and split the gas costs which really helps the budget with gas over 4 dollars per gallon.  I am happy that he has found a job that will pay him double what he is currently making and I also welcome the company on the long drives to and from work.  We have had a stormy past in terms of arguements and i think this will challenge us both, but mainly me to allow him to grow up and not be on his butt so much for things normal 21 year olds do.  Being together in a car for almost 4 hours a day will challenge me to keep my mouth shut and only offer advice when asked!  I have to let him grow up and make his own decisions and live with the consequences.  So many changes in my life in such a short time is going to kill me!!

This week I am looking to once again reach a 5 pund weight loss but I fear I am going to fall short as I have not had a chance to do alot of walking.  Besides that I have to find new pants that do not fall down to my ankles as I walk!!  Its weird for me to have to buy new pants because they are TOO BIG on me as its normally the other way around but you will not find me complaining! 

More updates next week or if something interesting happens or boredom sets in I will come back and let you know about it!!

Here I sit all broken hearted………….well you know the rest!!

I am so freaking mad right now as I just typed a rather lenghthy, witty and interesting post (to me at least) and somehow the post got deleted.  Check back as I am no mood to edit this post right now.